I am giddy to share with you today. My awesome friend Sarah bravely agreed to write a post for me. During my lonely years in Montana she was the needed friend God sent me. I’ve never laughed so hard or cried so hard with anyone. And today, you get to learn from her wisdom. Her post reminds me of 2 Corinthians 1:4 which says, God “comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
Sarah, I am so proud of you. Thank you for sharing. Please encourage her, dear readers, with your comments.
When my dear friend Laura asked me to write a post about how to support a friend who is going through a divorce, I thought, sure, I can do that. But then I realized, no, I don’t know anything about other people’s situations – they are all unique. But I do know how the people God brought into my life ministered to me and how that helped me through the pain and struggles of divorce.
Six years ago, when I was going through the divorce, my children were very young (pre-school). My husband was pursuing a relationship with another woman, ending our marriage. At the time, I had a narrow network of support – I had put all my emotional energy into my marriage. But God gathered people around me, from my church and from out of the blue, and He blessed and encouraged me through them.
I felt marked, like I was wearing a big red letter “S” during the separation, then a big red “D” after the divorce. Divorce? Me? I struggled with being a divorced person and how the Christian community would respond to me. I was most blessed by the friends who mourned with me, but did not judge me for my situation. People I didn’t know as well blessed me by sending cards expressing their support and love. If you know someone going through a separation and divorce, call them and let them know, by telling them, that you are there for them if they need anything. If you don’t know them as well, send them a card offering your love, prayers, and support.
I felt discarded and unlovable. The sadness was always there. It was a day-to-day struggle with sadness, pain, and loneliness. The friends who blessed me most were faithful in their friendship. They actively loved me, sought me out, called to check on me, persevered despite my self-absorption. Friends who blessed me during that time listened, encouraged, and cared, but they also shared their lives with me and helped me get outside my situation and myself. They allowed me to serve them (host, watch their children, etc.). It was healing for me to be valuable in someone else’s life.
Sarah blessed me by inviting my family over to celebrate MY birthday. She made the whole meal, accommodating all the food restrictions in my family…..gluten free and sugar free. It was better than a gift wrapped with a pretty bow.