Girl Drama

August 10, 2012 in Five Minute Friday,friendships

Writing today with Lisa Jo and a delightful group that love to exercise their writing muscles for five short minutes on Friday and then cheer each other on.  Today’s word: Connect.
best friends
First BFF in the cycle

Fourth grade girl drama. It’s intense. Each girl, suddenly insecure, needs others to look at her, listen to her, laugh with her because suddenly mom and dads smiles and loves are not enough. They want friends, best-stick-together-forever friends. But they haven’t learned yet that the world revolves on an axis that is unrelated to them. They can’t hardly listen to each other tell stories because inside, instead of listening, they are thinking I have a story too. Who will listen? Who will connect?

And then they find that best friend–the one who giggles at jokes and shares lunch box desserts and provides an anchor in the craziness of the playground. And her world spins splendidly around the ostensible friendship axis. And mom can sleep easily. And then BAM. Someone tries to steal BFF (because friends at this age are possessions). And feelings get hurt and tears run and noses drip and moms pray. 

I watched this cycle last year–knowing that it was in slow spin moving quickly toward rapid spin in the middle school years.  Helpless, I prayed and tried to believe it would all produce character and true connections.

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Fiona August 10, 2012 at 5:15 am

AAAhhhhh yes. 4th grade drama. I have an about to begin 5th grader..but a boy……I’m living girl experiences through my friends though. Tough days for Mommies. Your daughter is so blessed to have a praying Mom though….sounds like you have a great connection with her through and through…..
Thanks for your great words. xx

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Sabrina August 10, 2012 at 5:23 am

Hi! Just ‘connecting’ through the FMF link up. Your blog button caught my eye–pruning princesses. I have three young princesses myself, that I’m raising.

I remember the drama you described. How I wish it stopped in the early school years. God bless you as you guide your princesses through these challenging years of their life.

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Michele {A Life Surrendered} August 10, 2012 at 6:07 am

Oh, this makes me think we are just grown up children. I can relate to some of these struggles myself. The good in it and the best thing we can lead our children to do, is to draw in close to God in the pain. Yes, because He will never steal from us 🙂

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Renee August 10, 2012 at 11:01 am

Coming over from FMF–I too loved your button. When did they all of a sudden need to match and worry about thier hair? My tag line is “How does that serve God?” when we see something they love and I exhale.

Thanks for sharing.

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Denise August 10, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Sad, but true.

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redemptionsbeauty August 10, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Oh, you took me back. Remember those years well and then they enter the teen years and all that stuff seems really trivial in comparison to the weight they carry later on. Hang in there mama.

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Lynda August 10, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Great post. Came over from FMF. I remember those years from my princess and some of my own. They were tough and fun and exciting and frustrating and…

Would only that all of life’s growing were that easy!

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Mothering From Scratch August 11, 2012 at 2:10 am

{Melinda} I wish I could tell you the girl drama gets better, but …. My girl is 15 and it’s still heart-wrenching sometimes.

I’ve found the best thing I can is to listen. I ask questions and validate her feelings. But I try to not say anything negative about the girl in question because usually they are BFFs again within a day or two!

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Krysann Joye August 11, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Coming over from FMF as well…. Great post. My girl is still just a one year old and it breaks my heart to think about the days of mean girls and confused tears. 🙁

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Jessica Ambrose August 12, 2012 at 7:07 pm

My daughter is entering 3rd grade. She has friendship troubles too bc there are 3 of them and they get jealous bc my daughter is friendly to everyone so then they are mean to her but they love her too. It’s so frustrating.

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