“I am so dumb!”
“I am so ugly!”
Has your princess sobbed such phrases into her pillow? It doesn’t matter if she says them aloud or in her head. Such phrases, repeated over and over again, diminish the strength of your girl as she starts to believe the lies she mutters.
Moms, don’t shrug these comments off to the moodiness of girls. You need to address them. While you could explain the health benefits of the power of positive thinking, that isn’t really the goal. We can’t force our daughters to desire healthy thoughts anymore than we can force them to desire healthy food.
But if you’ve taught your girl to love God, the creator of the world, she needs to know how he views those statements. Negative self talk is not just an issue of feeling better or self esteem, it is the clay telling the potter he messed up. Such statements suggest God didn’t know what he was doing when he made her. (If your daughter says such critical things about her siblings, the same lessons apply.)
The girls and I discussed negative self talk this morning after reading our devotion. They thought the negative statements were a means of venting extreme self-pity. They never dreamed they were criticism of God. We talked about the power of these statements and the difference between acknowledging our sin (I am lazy but can change with God’s help) and criticizing our maker (I can’t do anything and so I am going to yell and cry into my pillow.)
The first time you address negative self talk, don’t do immediately following an ugly explosion of pity. Talk about it on a good day, when friends, hair, and school are all going well. To get you started on your discussion, check out these verses:
- God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.-Genesis 1:31 Know when God pronounced creation good? After he made the land. And after made the sun and moon and stars. And after he made the plants. And after he made the animals. And after he made Adam and Eve. He believes his creation is good, that means you.
- Woe to those who go to great depths
to hide their plans from the Lord,
who do their work in darkness and think,
“Who sees us? Who will know?”
16 You turn things upside down,
as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!
Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it,
“You did not make me”?
Can the pot say to the potter,
“You know nothing”?–Isaiah 29:15-16
- Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.-Matthew 10:29-31
And moms, if your daughter really struggles in this area. Check your own heart and repent where necessary. She will recover with speed when you are transformed by the Holy Spirit and share the process with her.
Tell me, is negative self talk an issue you or your daughter struggle with ?