My hair is the color of milk chocolate. My husband’s is more of a 90% Cacao dark chocolate. Neither of us have freckles.
When Bird turned six, she suddenly didn’t like the way she looked. She had red hair and freckles. I didn’t know how to help her. I wanted to blame Barbie. I tried to point out other red heads and cute kids with freckles. But she didn’t care. She wanted to look more “normal.” Whatever that is.
Into our lives walked a lovely woman who eventually married a dear friend of ours. At first, she lived next door. She was bubbly, friendly and good with kids. She was younger than me and very fashionably (“she wears lots of skirts,” my dress-twirling girls observed gleefully). The girls loved her instantly. She knew about things that elude me: decorating and fashion and jewelry. She had a funny habit of counting her freckles. And she had long red curly hair (like Bird’s in the summer). And with great authority, she could tell Bird why red heads need extra sunscreen. And she helped Bird rejoice as the sun increased her freckle count. They would giggle together about the funny places freckles sometimes show up, like on ears.
She doesn’t live next door anymore. The bachelor she married is a favorite in our family, so we see this couple at least once a week. And they are both good with kids. And the girls love them both. They are favorite babysitters and sometimes, the girls go to their apartment for sleep overs. I consider the arrival of my friend, who shares my name, a blessing from the Lord.
Ever since our dear red-headed, freckled, good-with- kids friend arrived, Bird has loved the way God created her. Mothers, pray for other women who can be role models to your girls. Because really, we have too many sins and faults and weaknesses to raise our kids alone–we need help. God can overcome all our weaknesses and He knows that sometimes, another person is the best victory. And if your daughter doesn’t share your looks, pray for another woman, who loves the Lord and can relate to your daughter’s beauty concerns.
I love having a beauty role model for my girls. She isn’t some air brushed photo from a magazine. She’s a real person who loves the Lord and can speak truth in the lives of my girls. She picks blueberries with us and chats with Bird about periods and cramps and other questions her unfiltered curiosity poses.
Sometimes a girl just wants to hear things from someone other than mom!
We don’t have grandmas, aunts, and cousins nearby so I am thankful God has given us family here. And I am thankful for the talents and interests God has given the women around me so my girls can learn beyond my strengths and weaknesses.
If you need some decorating advice, our red-headed friend blogs about it at Ever After Blueprint. Check it out.