What to say when she is afraid…

February 1, 2013 in Five Minute Friday

Scary movies. Bad dreams where I wake up sweaty and crying. A haunted house. A large spider. Fear was simpler when I was a child, more contained.

Well, it wasn’t but my understanding of it was narrower. As I age I recognize new, more debilitating fears: fear of failure, fear of having weaknesses exposed, fear of not being loved. And with the recognition comes understanding of how being afraid cripples the life I live.

The thing with fear is that it doesn’t shrink because we decide to be brave. When I finally look up, grab the rope my Savior has offered and face my fear, He gives strength but it doesn’t diminish the fear. That person I must communicate with, the one who always criticizes or yells? Telling her my idea is terrifying. And Jesus, He hands me strength but the fear is still loud.  I told her anyway. And she responded like she always does but in the end, she heard me. Now, after the deed, the fear is gone and His strength remains, I can do that again. And my soul?  It is a bit freer.

And that is how it works. Strength and bravery, they only diminish fear after the act. And so I need to change my language. To stop cooing the words to my girls, “Don’t be afraid…” Because I know, have repeatedly experienced, that fear is not logic. I need to tell her to grab her Jesus brave, face that issue and expect fear to put up a fight. Her Jesus brave will win, but the difficult battle must be fought.

Joining my favorite word lovers who know the power of 5-minutes. Join us today as we write on the word: Afraid.

 

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

EJ Reading February 1, 2013 at 12:15 pm

I love this, so much.
Such a timely reminder for me, too, to face the issue, with His courage, and know He will win.
Beautiful writing.

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pruningprincesses February 2, 2013 at 11:37 am

Thank you for kind comments. Encouragement is like fertilizing the soul of a blogger and you do it well.

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Wick February 1, 2013 at 1:33 pm

Definitely. May we use these moments to teach our children how to handle fear, while the object of their fear is easily understood……:)

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Becky Daye February 1, 2013 at 3:56 pm

I love how you recognized the reality of fear. I think sometimes we do try to diminish it, because we think that if we show that fear that we are not trusting God. But oh, the joy of showing our kids a different path! Of acknowledging their fears, but pointing them to the only One who can overcome them!!!
And just a side note- I have been so blessed by your words over the past several months. I know it can be so easy to only hear the critical voices, so let me be a voice of encouragement! Follow your dreams, sister! They are given to you by the One who knows YOU and has big dreams for you too!!

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pruningprincesses February 2, 2013 at 11:39 am

Oh Becky, next time I am feeling lonely and blue, I’ll just call you up so you tell me this again =) Thank you for coming back here, again and again.

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Kim February 1, 2013 at 5:28 pm

Joshua 1:9 is a favorite in our home. “Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged. For The Lord Your God will be with you wherever you go.” Great verse. Doesn’t always alleviate the fear, but encourages prayer and faith in God. 🙂

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pruningprincesses February 2, 2013 at 11:37 am

H Kim, That is a great verse and Joshua is great man, overlooked sometimes I think. Thank you for the reminder as I try to learn a new way of teaching my kids about fear.

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Amy Tilson February 1, 2013 at 7:46 pm

I know I am certainly guilty of diminishing fear. I like your approach much better. It has an empowerment to it that will serve my son well with many challenges in his life. Big thanks for that.

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pruningprincesses February 2, 2013 at 11:35 am

Amy, I am guilty of diminishing many of my kids emotions(And overencouraging the happy ones). I have never taught my kids about fear and bravery before. But as I wrote, I recognized a mistake I’ve been making. Love how a writing something unplanned can do that for us.

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Danielle February 1, 2013 at 9:26 pm

Love your site, love the post and especially love your heart. I’m new to the community and looking forwarding to learning as I go. Thanks for sharing! Blessings!

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pruningprincesses February 2, 2013 at 11:33 am

Oh Danielle, thank you. Welcome to 5 Minute Fridays. I love the community here and the writing discipline.

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Lisa February 3, 2013 at 7:20 pm

I love this last part, “Because I know, have repeatedly experienced, that fear is not logic. I need to tell her to grab her Jesus brave, face that issue and expect fear to put up a fight. Her Jesus brave will win, but the difficult battle must be fought.” Awesome truth! Thank you!

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pruningprincesses February 3, 2013 at 8:09 pm

Thank you. As so often happens with these unplanned writing prompts, I learn things I didn’t know I knew. And now I can teach my kids.

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Nikki February 4, 2013 at 8:09 pm

Oh you get this….fear is loud. illogical…

beautiful write from a mama’s heart. thanks for sharing it with me so I could pray the same for my son {HUGS}

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