When you Can’t Stay

November 16, 2012 in Five Minute Friday,lessons for moms,soccer

My stomach surged. I walked in denial, refusing to call sin sin. I was worried. My sweet Bird would be spending a week on a college campus. Playing soccer, eating, sleeping, and playing soccer in another state with counselors (who were only in college) and not a known person in sight. She was ten. I was thrity-six and I wasn’t ready for this.

I wanted to stay, maybe at a hotel nearby in case she needed me. But the camp was barely in our budget, a hotel certainly wouldn’t be. And circumstances required my presence elsewhere that week, I couldn’t even drop her off, see where she would sleep, make her bed. And my cell phone, the one we gave her to communicate with us? It hated the cement walls of that dorm. Her nightly phone calls were broken up and painful.

The first night alone she called her us using her roommate’s phone. She talked to her dad first, something about girls teasing her because she had stuffed animals with her. My stomach juices surged again. I prayed. She prayed. She talked to the camp counselor (smart or dumb thing to do? I wasn’t sure). She had to change roommates.

I knew when I started this motherhood thing that God gave us these precious girls to fiercely protect and then one finger at a time, we had to let go and expose them to the world and hope that armor of faith we had tried to give them would stay in place. It hurts at times though there is joy in watching them fly.

Bird came back from the week glowing. She loved the soccer, but really she loved growing up that week, maneuvering a college dorm, room key, shower room, and cafeteria on her own and not losing a thing–not a sock or an ounce of Β faith. And me? If faith could be measured on a yard stick, I grew ten inches that week too, remembering that my job isn’t always to stay, but to let go and trust the One who made her. I felt like Hannah,

Linking up with others who love words and the challenge to write them quickly. Love this Friday linky with Lisa Jo. Today’s word: Stay. Join us.

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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Stephanie November 16, 2012 at 11:59 am

This was so beautiful, and wow you captured so many of my own feelings in watching my babies “fly”. I love how you said we let go, one finger at a time. Isn’t it so true?

So glad you are my FMF neighbor today πŸ™‚

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pruningprincesses November 17, 2012 at 8:10 pm

So glad to meet you Stephanie. I am excited to follow your blog and learn with you as you go through this difficult time. I plan to pray!

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Jennifer {StudioJRU} November 16, 2012 at 12:59 pm

So sweet! “Hope that armor of faith we had tried to give them would stay in place”… beautiful!

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pruningprincesses November 17, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Jennifer! It’s been a while since we have connected. Thank you for stopping by. I have a post in the works that I hope to link up to your In the Studio some Friday. Thank you for the kind comment.

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Melissa November 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Oh, gracious!! Love it!!
She didn’t lose a thing, not even her faith!
Praise King Jesus! πŸ™‚
Great post. Great parenting!

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pruningprincesses November 17, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Thank you, Melissa. I didn’t feel full of faith or like a great mom at the time. I thought maybe letting her go was a bad decision. I am so glad I did though! Thank you for taking the time to comment!

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kimberly vogel November 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm

We had a camp experience this year too. Except she couldn’t call… Thankfully she had such a positive experience. I learned many lessons that week. She came home changed in a beautiful way – just like your daughter!

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pruningprincesses November 17, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Eek. No calling. I think I would be okay with that if the camp was a Christian camp. This was a soccer camp in college dorms and my Bird was ten. (Most of the ten-year-olds there went home early…homesick!). I think we both needed the phone calls. But yes, that first week away changes us all! I love that God allows me to let go one step at a time.

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Tess November 16, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Well said!

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Nikki November 16, 2012 at 5:35 pm

ack! what a challenging post. My mama heart is so not ready for that!
and yet…it’s not me who is making them grow, is it.
thanks for the reminder, friend. for putting me in my place. : )
Hugs to you!

and LOVED your thoughts on my post this week, too. If I had enough time, I would have went there because I was thinking it at the end ; )

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Becky Emerick November 16, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Oh, I’m not ready either! When my kids went to their first overnight camp this last summer, I was nervous. They came back glowing. And you’re right – we mammas grow in the process too! Love your creative take on the word – when we CAN’T stay. πŸ™‚

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pruningprincesses November 17, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Oh Becky, I was SO nervous. But it was a great experience. Thank you for stopping by and letting me know I am not the only nervous mama!

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Dolly@Soulstops November 16, 2012 at 7:43 pm

oh, you are so brave, Laura, to let your girl go…I don’t know if I am ready for that as our girl is 10 but I know the time is coming soon, for God to grow both of us in our faith…what a wonderful write and testimony to God’s faithfulness to you and your Bird πŸ™‚

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Laura @ Pruning Princesess November 17, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Dolly, my Bird is 10 also. I think that is why my stomach was in knots. And it was a soccer camp, not a Christian camp. I didn’t like sending her, but my husband insisted it was good for her. Turns out he was right. Her confidence grew so much.

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OneMommy November 19, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Letting them grow up is so hard. What an amazing opportunity for your daughter though! And I know it will help her when it really is time to go to college — good for her to speak up and talk to the conselor and get a new roommate!

Thank you so much for stopping in for my SITS day! Your blog looks amazing, going to have to follow so I can come back on a day I have more time! πŸ™‚

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pruningprincesses November 26, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Wow. I can’t believe you had time to stop by. I imagine with all those comments on a SITS day, follow up gets time-consuming. My SITS day is next week. I am excited. Somehow they lost my original application to be featured so I’ve waited 9 months! I hope you do come back, helping moms be intentional in parenting their girls is a passion of mine and I believe there is so much important wisdom on this blog (most of it written by others or shared with me by others). I love the idea of moms mentoring each other.

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OneMommy November 29, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Happy SITS day early! I’ll definitely be back! πŸ™‚
I had to wait almost a year and a half for my SITS day — guess mine got lost in the shuffle, too!

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Skye November 25, 2012 at 8:30 am

Great post! I get an awful feeling in my stomach when I worry if my girl isn’t fitting in or that someone is being mean. She is only 6, I can’t even imagine how nuts I will be in 5 years lol

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pruningprincesses November 26, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Oh, those mama bear claws can be hard to control when someone doesn’t treat your girl right. But I’ve learned from experience, that sometimes all I can do is pray and listen. Our job is train them through the trials so when they are on their own they can stand up strong. I am so thankful it is a gradual process! Thanks for stopping by.

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