For three years both girls went away for the day when school started. The first year, I struggled with how to spend my time. A whole seven hours without kids was luxurious and confusing. I adjusted. I loved it.
Now we’re home–to stay. Knowing how much I would sacrifice in time and friendships, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Now, learning is rich and connected and together. And the teacher, in me is loving this learning life.
But the pressures are building. Every hole in their education, it now comes from me. Home all day means messes, all day. Figuring out how to still meet my friends, or to grocery shop, or just to steal an hour without someone needing me, touching me, or calling me. We have new habits to learn, changes to make (Can anyone be my cook for free?)
Yesterday it was too much. And small touches or too much wiggling. It all set me off. I cried at the sight of a friend at a door. I was the extra mess yesterday. Unsure how my poor organization and introverted needs would survive the year, the tears refused my command to stop.
Putting away some groceries in the deep freeze at 8 pm, God nudged me, “Surely I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” I looked up (not at a beautiful sky but at the basement ceiling). On top of the upright freezer was one of those reusable grocery bags. It had stuff in it. Frustration filled me, as I grabbed the bag muttering about how I am the only one who picks up around here. Inside? My missing Bible, gone for for 6 months, the one I’ve had since my engagement– with all my favorite verses underlined, the list of scriptures the girls and I have memorized, the dates of scriptures I’ve prayed. A long time friend, with leather soft from travels. I still hadn’t found a comfortable replacement.
“Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” –Matthew 28:20
Oh Joy. It’s 5-minute Friday day at Lisa Jo’s. Link up with us and write, won’t you? Today’s word: Change. I went over time today. I had to finish the story!