Wisdom Wednesday: 5 mentors for your daughter

July 18, 2012 in lessons for moms,Wednesday wisdom

It takes a village….I love this phrase and I want a village to help me raise my girls. But finding a village in this culture of instant updates without real interactions is tough. Especially when family is far away. So I’ve been praying for some villagers…

At my grandma’s funeral an older cousin gave me some advice for raising my girls. She knew the treacherous teen years were coming. She knew that no matter the depth of our parental love and effort, it might not be enough to survive the valleys. Her advice? Foster 5 relationships between your daughter and other adults you trust. Relating with parents who impose all the rules is a tightrope walk for teenagers. Sometimes resting under the rope in the trampoline with another adult makes the performance easier. And certainly we want our little performers learning the answers that plague their muddle their brain from wise adults rather than internet forums. 

Why 5? Why not? Currently I struggling to think of three adults who regularly interact with my girls in an invested way. And every person exposes my girls to new strengths and weaknesses. I might not be able to comfort my daughters sometimes, but my neighbor might. 

An ink drawing Bug made when she was seven while spending time with my friend. 

Currently I am brainstorming. What relationships can I foster for my girls? God has blessed us with a friend who gives Bug weekly art lessons. I am not convinced Bug loves the art as much as the ear of my listening friend. And my friend loves the Lord, weathering difficult valleys with her faith strong and intact and my Bug has watched. I am praying about asking another women to invest in my Bird. And wondering if an email mentor might not be a fabulous use of technology. In a few years hopefully, youth pastors will part of the five. How about your family? What relationships with other adults are you fostering for your girl? What do you think about the email idea?

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Holly Tumpkin July 19, 2012 at 1:23 am

I LOVE the email idea! I think you’ve done a club similar to what I did, with other girls and your daughters? Part of my goal in doing that was to provide other moms too who are similar. We parented together through those meetings. I’ve always told my kids who there is to talk to besides me, knowing that one day they may need someone besides me. Family friends that share values, my sister, grandmas, youth pastors. I don’t even know if they have taken advantage or not, but I feel safe with who we have agreed on. These women know they don’t need to share anything with me, unless it’s dangerous, etc. So far they haven’t stopped talking to me thankfully, even in difficult times, though I’m quite sure I don’t know everything. 🙂 I had a mentor like this in my own mom’s best friend. She knew things I don’t believe my mom ever did. It’s valuable!


Thoughts for the day July 19, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Great idea~ mentoring is a powerful way of helping others in fact I remember one day in church I was complaining to the Lord ‘I want a mentor Lord’…and HE through the spirit said ‘You are the older woman, you are to teach the younger ones what you know’…oh yeah I guess at 57 I am the older. Since I am a grandma of six, and married 38 years I do have some experience to share right?
Your girls are blessed to have a mom like you who is concerned about them and how to encourage them more. God will send you to the right people.


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